the hardest part of making this life changing decision is that i have something holding me back. im in love with my best friend / boyfriend and i dont know what to do, my heart and mind knows that he IS the one, that we are truly meant to be but i dont understand why life is making it so hard for us to be together. i dont understand why i have to make the decision to moved back with my mom and leave the love of my life behind and my best friend. im so used to this life i have been living and i really dont want to change, but it is for the best, i certainly do not want to be living pay check to pay check and this is the only opportunity i will ever have. see i am almost 18 and this is already stressful and full of responsibility. im a senior and i need to make sure i choose the right life and right college regardless of moving to another country. but is all that really worth turning your back to the love of your life? to just let go of everything that you have ever wanted, your happiness. i know this sounds a little corny but HE is my little peace of heaven, he is my happiness, he is my heart and soul. if i was single and he never came into my life, this decision would of been so much easier. i know i have no control over the future, of what things might happen between us, but i dont want to be the cause that we cannot live our fairy tale. i want to see how we go on with life together, i want to know that we will or not end up together. i want to be sure that this decision is not the reason why we cannot be together for the rest of our lives. im so scared in losing you. and i just dont know what to do. its tearing me apart. and i really dont want to make the bad mistake. all i know that i am going to live this year i have left to the fullest and have all the best memories with him and regardless of my decision, i will someday look back to us and remember all the good things, and all the love we both have for each other. i love you edwardo.